Sunday, March 19, 2006

God Answers Jed's MEME, and Promptly Smites Him

What were YOU doing 10 years ago?
Everything

What were YOU doing 1 year ago?
See the last question

Let us remember that time is merely a concept set forth by humans to advance the nincompoopery that humans have some type of control over the universe. Questions like, "What time is it?" have always puzzled ME. If it's 5:00 PM in New York; it's 10:00 PM in London and 6:00 AM the next day in Hong Kong. People cross time zones in airplanes and don't think much of it. They pass days and months and years without ever examining themselves or those around them. They don't really think about too much of anything and then they die. Damn shame if you ask ME, all of you running around thinking you're late for this or that, talking about the good old days when things were "better" than the are now. Better for who? 10 years ago a child born into a middle-class family in Baghdad actually had a better chance at a safe and healthy existence than she did last year or today.

Time. When? What? Whatever. I'M not going to give you all a physics lesson today.


Five snacks YOU enjoy:
I'M GOD ALMIGHTY! I don't snack.

Five songs to which YOU know all the lyrics:
I'M GOD ALMIGHTY! I know the words to all songs. There are billions of songs, and most of them are crap, so I only really focus in a few million of them or so.

Five things YOU would do if you were a millionaire:
This is a joke, right?

Five bad habits:
  1. Procrastination
  2. I cheat at cards
  3. I read the last page of books before I start them as if I didn't know what was going to happen anyway
  4. Allowing the whole "Free Will" thing to go on without putting down MY foot
  5. Not listening

Five things YOU like doing:
  1. Creating DNA strings
  2. Making bees fly
  3. Playing with bunnies
  4. Beating Odin at 20 questions (HE's good)
  5. Fishing

Five things YOU would never wear again:
Um... seriously...

Five favorite toys:
I don't know about this question since, well, I'M GOD ALMIGHTY. But I have always been fond of the idea of Hula-Hoops.

NOTE: I'm not really going to smite Jed. It just sounded good in the title.

5 Comments:

Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2008 said...

you just won the prize. god doing a meme. can you wave your hand and wipe memes from our memory?

5:53 AM  
Blogger Anne Johnson said...

God, you're good.

11:50 PM  
Blogger Tennessee Jed said...

Yikes! I was freaked there for a few seconds. Thanks God...for everything, mostly for not smiting me. I sure don't need the extra trouble.

5:07 PM  
Blogger Newscoma said...

Thank you for not smiting Jed.
What are your thoughts on the slinky?

9:55 PM  
Blogger GOD said...

Newscoma,
The slinky also interests ME, who can resist it going down stairs as if propelled by some internal force. But the old metal ones got caught in the hair and the new plastic ones aren't worth a shit.

By far, the hula hoop is a superior toy due to its simplicity (it's a circle, dammit!) and its ability to allow the hula hooper to work off some pounds while having fun.

9:20 AM  

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