I speak through Terry Jones

It should be noted that many of you are worried about the troubles with American politicians, forgetting that an entire world exists. And in this world, other people are also fretting over the indigenous political climate.

Take Terry Jones (for whom I have absolute warmth and affection--he is not unlike a bunny in my estimation). I spoke through him recently.

Sources close to the archangel Gabriel report him as describing the Almighty as "hopping mad ... with sanctimonious yet unscrupulous politicians claiming He would condone their bestial activities when He has no way of going public Himself, owing to the MMW agreement" (a reference to the long-established Moving in Mysterious Ways concordat).

Take note George W. Bush: I have never spoken through you. I do not direct your actions. You will get yours in the end (so be especially careful when bending over).

God Answers Jed's MEME, and Promptly Smites Him

What were YOU doing 10 years ago?
Everything

What were YOU doing 1 year ago?
See the last question

Let us remember that time is merely a concept set forth by humans to advance the nincompoopery that humans have some type of control over the universe. Questions like, "What time is it?" have always puzzled ME. If it's 5:00 PM in New York; it's 10:00 PM in London and 6:00 AM the next day in Hong Kong. People cross time zones in airplanes and don't think much of it. They pass days and months and years without ever examining themselves or those around them. They don't really think about too much of anything and then they die. Damn shame if you ask ME, all of you running around thinking you're late for this or that, talking about the good old days when things were "better" than the are now. Better for who? 10 years ago a child born into a middle-class family in Baghdad actually had a better chance at a safe and healthy existence than she did last year or today.

Time. When? What? Whatever. I'M not going to give you all a physics lesson today.


Five snacks YOU enjoy:
I'M GOD ALMIGHTY! I don't snack.

Five songs to which YOU know all the lyrics:
I'M GOD ALMIGHTY! I know the words to all songs. There are billions of songs, and most of them are crap, so I only really focus in a few million of them or so.

Five things YOU would do if you were a millionaire:
This is a joke, right?

Five bad habits:

1. Procrastination
2. I cheat at cards
3. I read the last page of books before I start them as if I didn't know what was going to happen anyway
4. Allowing the whole "Free Will" thing to go on without putting down MY foot
   
5. Not listening

Five things YOU like doing:

1. Creating DNA strings
2. Making bees fly
3. Playing with bunnies
4. Beating Odin at 20 questions (HE's good)
5. Fishing

Five things YOU would never wear again:
Um... seriously...

Five favorite toys:
I don't know about this question since, well, I'M GOD ALMIGHTY. But I have always been fond of the idea of Hula-Hoops.

NOTE: I'm not really going to smite Jed. It just sounded good in the title.