Thursday, June 22, 2006

Another reason to bring up bunnies

I sometimes find myself doing unintentionally cruel things to make a point . To wit:

Last night a woman was driving home on a dark, country road, when she spied a young rabbit dart out in front of her car. The woman was driving below the speed limit, and was able to slow down her vehicle in order to allow the young rabbit safe passage. She felt a sense of relief until the young rabbit darted back across the road. She swerved, but to no avail. Peter Rabbit hopped swiftly and almost maniacally into her back wheels.

Cruel of me?

I suppose. But I have to make the point that we don't really control life and death. Surely some folks take quicker routes to death, but the destination is the same.

Jed wants to know why the world seems so screwed up?

I kind of take that personally, Jed. But I AM in the process of answering that very question.

Things in this world often seem screwed up because humans don't have control over everything--including each other. You humans are merely caretakers on this big blue ball, not the property owner. I'm not even sure if I have the title on the place.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is there isn't anything screwed up about the world, only the people in it. Some folks try and avoid tragedy like it's a bill collector; but tragedy will eventually run smack dab into your wheels, no matter what you do to avoid it.

I suppose that sucks for you humans, not unlike it sucked for that screwy rabbit.
Or your little bird.

Anne, no need to call me Sir. I'm no more male than female. I'm both and neither. God Almighty will do just fine. I do my best to delegate. Like giving you all care of the planet Earth and your own fates. But then you all drop the ball on the environment or complain about the responsibility or blame Satan or ME for things that don't work out for you. [sigh]

Oh, and I AM GOD ALMIGHTY DAMMIT! If I want a tan; I get a tan.

Remember, God loves you... most of the time.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Divine is just a 6-letter word

God (that's ME) misses you all.
God has been on a leave of absence.
God has a tan.

If you think you have a personal relationship with ME, think again.
God would have more "friends" on MySpace than anyone else on MySpace if God had a MySpace account.
God says, "With friends like that..."

God likes to refer to HERSELF/HIMSELF in the third person.
Everyone else does.


God is taking questions.